Meet Mercer!

Mercer Dayne arrived at 10:56am on Saturday, May 28th. 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19.25 inches long! Sorry so long for the update! I have been busy adjusting to life with two precious kiddos and getting to know this little blessing more and more every day. Ryder just adores him and loves being a big brother! It is bittersweet knowing that every "first" Mercer has will be my "last" experience with a baby doing those things. We are already past newborn clothes, size newborn diapers, and waking up in the night for feedings. The first night he slept 12 hours straight at 8 weeks and 3 days was so great, but I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind I will never wake up with a newborn in the night again. Tears filled my eyes... but I have to look ahead and know that I will be creating memories with my boys every day in every stage of life they are in. That makes me joyful! Mercer is an excellent, content little guy. Robbie and I could not have been more blessed with two wonderful children. Today I am writing this post because I have been thinking back all week to this time last year... We had paid all this money to try IVF once and we were so incredibly hopeful. Putting our faith in God. Yet still so unsure of the outcome and how our life would be like. I have to say, I could have never imagined that our journey would have become what it is today! I am greatful for the blessing of infertility. It has taught me so much about myself and brought me closer to God and my family. This time last year I was going through intense fertility meds not knowing that the next year I would have a happy, healthy little baby boy that joined our family of three just a few months earlier! Infertility still weighs heavy on my heart and I use this as my testimony. I pray frequently for my friends and others that I don't even know that are struggling with this. I thank God everyday for my little blessings and I am so greatful that today I am able to introduce you to little Mercer! Hope you enjoy the pictures!

Life After Invitro Fertilization

Ya’ know, not many people talk about life after IVF. I wish I knew some things before the reality hit me. I’ve had IVF, now what? After my transfer date, and blood test, and thankfully and gratefully, a positive outcome, I was pregnant. Yippee! Life was just beginning. I still saw my RE for weeks following the IVF. Every time I stepped in to his office, I was reminded that life was delicate inside me. That anything could change at any point in time. That I was being monitored. Several weeks after finding out I was pregnant I was SO happy but so cautious. Hoping and praying this precious being inside me would thrive and grow properly. The actual IVF procedure I have to say was a piece of cake compared to the emotional side of things. The roller coaster ride was so emotionally draining. The 2 week waiting period to find out if it works, then waiting again to see your precious blessing via ultrasound, praying for a healthy heartbeat, and waiting for every appointment continuing to have faith that the baby is okay. At about ten weeks of pregnancy, I saw my RE for the last time. The pregnancy was going great so he released me to my regular OBGYN. It was hard saying goodbye to the doctor I had seen very often for months… even a few years! I was actually rather sad. For weeks and weeks I wanted to tell SO many people I was pregnant, but I was so afraid of loosing the baby. I had gone THIS far with so many medical exams and treatments and tests just LEADING up to IVF and not telling many people what we were going through. So, why not wait a little longer to tell? My RE actually recommended we wait to tell until after 10-12 weeks. (We ended up telling our exciting news around 11 weeks.) No one ever told me I’d experience patience. Yes, I wanted to burst and blurt it out. But I didn’t feel all that traditional. Parents who had a much easier time in conceiving may not feel that the world could ever harm their chances or their baby. Whereas people like us felt…cautious. Life after IVF should be joyous and believe me, it is. But there is always a sense of, “what if..” Whereas parents who have yet to go through a roller coaster of issues because pregnancy was seemingly easy might have a much stranger time digesting the, “what ifs.” Another thing I had not expected after IVF is the feeling of attachment to my leftover medications. I still have 3 boxes of medicine in my refrigerator. It is out of date, but I just cannot make myself throw it away. It is emotional in a sense for me. I remember every step of my protocol and the first shot of Lupron I ever took. I can’t forget. I have an appreciation for it. I can’t believe it started with a simple shot in the abdomen and became a real, live person inside me. I remember the cold sensation of the alcohol swabs to the cramps I had after my transfer date. I remember the fear I had in taking my first shot to the relief I felt in taking my last shot. I remember it all. So when I look at the extra meds I have a feeling of gratitude and peace. Funny. People say that life is all about the baby now. It is. But it’s also about what got him to this place in my belly. I know I am one of the lucky ones. I am SO lucky. I will never forget it. I am who I am and he will be who he will be because of IVF. Because of what transpired before IVF, during IVF, and after IVF. So, life after IVF for me is not just about diapers and sleepless nights and all that comes with a newborn baby. It’s about remembrance. I will never forget the incredible experience I had conceiving through IVF.

18 Weeks

Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks! It has been a while since I have updated this blog so I just wanted to tell what has gone on the past 2 months! First and foremost... we are pregnant with a healthy baby BOY! His name will be Mercer Dayne and he will be here 21 weeks from today or sooner! I can't believe I will soon be a mom of 2 boys in May! This pregnancy has FLOWN by and hasn't come without complications. Ryder's pregnancy was oh so easy and I really thought since this pregnancy was so different that it would be a girl.. but we are incredibly blessed with another boy! So far this pregnancy I have been more nauseous and have constant migraines and headaches, I have already landed an ER visit for several hours at 11 weeks because of severe bleeding which was from a subchorianic hematoma and partial placenta previa (both of which have corrected itself), and my newest adventure having a uterine fibroid! All in all I would take anything and even more to have a healthy baby in the end! We are so blessed and so excited that IVF took the first time! I hope you enjoy the 17 week scan!