Is Anything Too Difficult?

“Is anything too difficult for the Lord?”
Genesis 18:14


“For nothing will be impossible with God!”
Luke 1:37


Go back with me to Sarah’s tent as the angel of the Lord told her that at the tender young age of 90 that she would finally bear the child she had craved her entire life. What was that blessed question to the dazed octogenarian? “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14) I know Sarah laughed in disbelief, but I can’t help but think that the angel had to at least snicker when he saw the dazed expression on her face!

Now jump ahead to the central event of mankind—the birth of Christ. Look with me as a scared young girl stares an angel in the face as he tells her she is carrying the Lamb of God in her virgin womb. What was his message to this confused young girl? “For nothing is impossible with God!” (Matthew1:37) See any similarities? Both of these statements were uttered to reassure the mothers of children who otherwise could not have been born! It took a miracle to breathe life into the womb of a 90 year old woman and even more miracle working power to bring the Son of God into the human body of a virgin teen! I absolutely love these Scriptures that bold scream out through time and eternity that nothing is too difficult for God! Even more, both statements were uttered in response to the conception of children!

Let me tattoo this on your heart right now—Nothing is too hard for God! Nothing! Hallelujah! Endometriosis? It’s nothing to the Great Physician! Unexplained infertility? Not to an all knowing God! Miscarriages? Stillbirths? God understands—remember He knows the sting of losing a Child. His child died too. Adoption? He is the original adoptive parent!

Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing is too difficult for God and He’s fighting this battle right along with you! Disease? He can heal. Financially strapped? He can provide. Confused? He can lead you to the right doctors or support groups. Tired? He can give you rest. Barren? He can open your womb. We serve such a wonderful God. I’m so glad He loves me and cares about my hurt.

“For nothing will be impossible with God!”


This was taken from Baby Hunger: Biblical Encouragement for Those Struggling with Infertility by Beth Forbus. I love this book and encourage everyone dealing with infertility and infant loss to read this. It has great messages. You will be reading more posts that are from this book in the future! I have a lot to share from this book that has helped me tremendously.

Femara Cycle #2

The nurse at Dr. Ke's office called today. He started me on Provera (progesterone) again to induce my cycle. Since I did not ovulate, I will not get a cycle on my own. On day 3 through 7 of my cycle I will take Femara (Letrozole) again. This time he doubled my dose to 5mg. Looking forward to CD21 to see if I would have ovulated! Guess I will know in about 5 weeks!

Reasoning Behind the Title of my Blog

I plan everything. I like to know in advance what the plans are. I am not a “spur of the moment” kind of person. I do not like surprises or change in plans.

Pretty much my whole life has gone somewhat according to my plan. What I could not plan for was infertility. I have learned that God has his own plan.

This is the major thing He has been revealing to me during this time. His plan overrules my plan. I have been trying to clinch this mindset. Let me tell you, it’s not easy. But what I see is this: God has a plan for our family. It’s our unique plan. God’s plan for someone else’s life is not His plan for our lives.

This does not mean I know what our plan is yet. If He revealed everything to me I probably would never learn to trust, depend and put my faith in Him. Infertility is beyond my control and just because I have submitted my version of ‘the plan’ to God does not mean that He has accepted it. In fact, I now believe that He took one look at it and said, “Mine’s better.”

There is a reason that we are going through this struggle and the best way to look at it is to say that I am being “blessed” with the challenge of infertility. Crazy, I know. How can you be blessed by infertility? It’s definitely not the blessing of infertility itself – that is a trial. But it’s the journey through this trial that brings forth the blessings.

For one, my husband and I have never been closer. I love him more having gone through this trial than ever before. He is the one that has helped me to center my emotions and see that God is not punishing us and that He is in control.

Second, my prayer life has grown stronger. I find myself praying constantly throughout the day. Before this journey, I can honestly say I did not have the prayer life I should have had.

Thirdly, God has protected me from miscarriage. I have never felt the devastation of losing a pregnancy and I am thankful for this.

Fourth, in our journey through primary infertility, God blessed us with a beautiful healthy child named Ryder.

So here I am, onto Plan G. “G” for God. Not my plan but His plan. Some days I may wish I could write my own plan, but I know that God is blessing me through this challenge. I look forward to seeing my life plan unfold and discovering me.

The Past Year

Ryder Garrison made his perfect arrival on March 8th 2008. Robbie and I could not have been happier. He was exactly what we had hoped and prayed for.

We decided since it took a while to get pregnant with Ryder to just not prevent pregnancy after he was born. We knew that we really wanted to have another baby eventually. I went in for my yearly OB/GYN appointment in August 2008. I voiced my concern about possibly having trouble conceiving again. I had been told by numerous people that pregnancy "changes" your body and it will reverse it. I thought I would go back to normal. I thought I might ovulate on my own. I thought it would be easier this time... I still had not had a cycle since Ryder was born. It had been 5 months and since I did not breastfeed, I should have had 3 cycles by now! My doctor told me that I was not ovulating on my own and I would have to take medicine again to start having my cycles. She said whenever I wanted to try to get pregnant again she would prescribe me Clomid. I went home and talked it over with Robbie. We thought about it and prayed about it for about a week and made a decision to just go ahead and move forward with trying out the Clomid. Dr. Cole started me on Prometrium to induce my cycle and then gave me a round of Clomid. 50mg and I took it Cycle Days 3-7. I went in on Cycle Day 21 to have my blood work drawn (Believe me... this blood work stuff is a piece of cake now!) to check my progesterone level to see if I had ovulated. It was 1.2. Negative for ovulation. So, I took Prometrium again and did a second round of Clomid. 100 mg Cycle Days 3-7. This time my Cycle Day 21 progesterone level came back at 15! Completely unexpected! It was consistent with ovulation, but I did not get pregnant. Since I ovulated, I actually started on my own and decided to try a third round of Clomid. 100 mg Cycle Days 3-7. This time my progesterone level on Cycle Day 21 was less than 1. I had not ovulated... By this time it was December 2nd. Dr. Cole decided to refer me to Dr. Ke, a Reproductive Endocrinologist. My appointment was set for 6 weeks later... January 12th.

My initial appointment went really well. Although, looking back, I think I was kind of naive to think that I would get pregnant within a month or so.. That obviously has not happened yet! Dr. Ke suspected PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and did blood work to test multiple things and to confirm this diagnosis. He prescribed me 850 mg of Metformin twice a day. I would have to take this every day until I am through my baby-making years. He gave me Provera (a different progesterone drug) to start my cycle. When I did start I was to call and schedule an appointment to have an SHG to check for polyps on my uterus.

On February 17th 2009, I went in for the SHG. It was very similar to the HSG. It was painful. Lying there exposed on a cold metal table for 30 minutes with a catheter stuck up there and being injected with dye (which caused severe cramps) to check for uterine abnormalities. The doctor found several polyps on my uterus.

Feb 26th was my second RE appointment. He scheduled my surgery for March 13 to remove the polyps. He also confirmed that I had PCOS.

March 13th - My surgery (Hysteroscopy). Dr. Ke removed 2 large polyps as well as scraping my entire uterus to remove multiple small clusters of polyps. He started me on Provera to have a cycle again. I am still not having cycles on my own.

April 20th was my third RE appointment. He started a plan to get me pregnant. I had lost 14 pounds in the past 3 months, so my chances of conceiving with having the surgery and using the Metformin were at the highest percentage if I used ovulatory drugs. He started me on Provera again to induce my cycle. He prescribed me 2.5mg of Letrozole (femara). He said I was Clomid-resistant and that Letrozole usually worked better in patients with PCOS. I took this Cycle Days 3-7. Yesterday was Cycle Day 21, so I went in to have my blood drawn to see if I ovulated. I found out the results today and my progesterone level was less than 1. Not consistent with ovulation. The nurse is supposed to call me back on Tuesday to let me know if I will go to retest my progesterone on CD28 to test for late ovulation. Until then... just waiting! I do not think that I ovulated this cycle, so hopefully he will up my dosage to 5mg of the Letrozole.. We will see! I will update next week when I find out for sure. My next appointment is scheduled for June 22.

Welcome

Welcome to my infertility blog! I have decided to start this blog to make an account of my inferility journey as well as to use my story as a testimony to help others out there who are struggling with inferility. My journey started in July 2006 when I went off birth control. My husband and I tried for 12 months before successfully conceiving our son, Ryder. I rarely had cycles on my own and I rarely, if ever, ovulated on my own. Ryder is my miracle baby. Doctors cannot even explain how I got pregnant with him. I have less than a 4% chance of conceiving on my own without medical intervention. Ryder was that less than 4% chance... I did not use ovulatory drugs to conceive him. I did, however, have a HSG to test my fallopian tubes for blockages a month before I got pregnant with him. Pregnancy rate tends to be higher after this test. My journey to get pregnant with Ryder was a rollercoaster, but nothing could have prepared me for my emotional journey I have endured through secondary infertility. Believe me, it was heartwrenching when I was trying the first time, but I got pregnant before the doctors ever really discovered my problem and had a chance to somewhat correct that problem. The next post will cover details that the past year has brought on my journey of secondary infertility.