Reasoning Behind the Title of my Blog

I plan everything. I like to know in advance what the plans are. I am not a “spur of the moment” kind of person. I do not like surprises or change in plans.

Pretty much my whole life has gone somewhat according to my plan. What I could not plan for was infertility. I have learned that God has his own plan.

This is the major thing He has been revealing to me during this time. His plan overrules my plan. I have been trying to clinch this mindset. Let me tell you, it’s not easy. But what I see is this: God has a plan for our family. It’s our unique plan. God’s plan for someone else’s life is not His plan for our lives.

This does not mean I know what our plan is yet. If He revealed everything to me I probably would never learn to trust, depend and put my faith in Him. Infertility is beyond my control and just because I have submitted my version of ‘the plan’ to God does not mean that He has accepted it. In fact, I now believe that He took one look at it and said, “Mine’s better.”

There is a reason that we are going through this struggle and the best way to look at it is to say that I am being “blessed” with the challenge of infertility. Crazy, I know. How can you be blessed by infertility? It’s definitely not the blessing of infertility itself – that is a trial. But it’s the journey through this trial that brings forth the blessings.

For one, my husband and I have never been closer. I love him more having gone through this trial than ever before. He is the one that has helped me to center my emotions and see that God is not punishing us and that He is in control.

Second, my prayer life has grown stronger. I find myself praying constantly throughout the day. Before this journey, I can honestly say I did not have the prayer life I should have had.

Thirdly, God has protected me from miscarriage. I have never felt the devastation of losing a pregnancy and I am thankful for this.

Fourth, in our journey through primary infertility, God blessed us with a beautiful healthy child named Ryder.

So here I am, onto Plan G. “G” for God. Not my plan but His plan. Some days I may wish I could write my own plan, but I know that God is blessing me through this challenge. I look forward to seeing my life plan unfold and discovering me.