Life After Invitro Fertilization

Ya’ know, not many people talk about life after IVF. I wish I knew some things before the reality hit me. I’ve had IVF, now what? After my transfer date, and blood test, and thankfully and gratefully, a positive outcome, I was pregnant. Yippee! Life was just beginning. I still saw my RE for weeks following the IVF. Every time I stepped in to his office, I was reminded that life was delicate inside me. That anything could change at any point in time. That I was being monitored. Several weeks after finding out I was pregnant I was SO happy but so cautious. Hoping and praying this precious being inside me would thrive and grow properly. The actual IVF procedure I have to say was a piece of cake compared to the emotional side of things. The roller coaster ride was so emotionally draining. The 2 week waiting period to find out if it works, then waiting again to see your precious blessing via ultrasound, praying for a healthy heartbeat, and waiting for every appointment continuing to have faith that the baby is okay. At about ten weeks of pregnancy, I saw my RE for the last time. The pregnancy was going great so he released me to my regular OBGYN. It was hard saying goodbye to the doctor I had seen very often for months… even a few years! I was actually rather sad. For weeks and weeks I wanted to tell SO many people I was pregnant, but I was so afraid of loosing the baby. I had gone THIS far with so many medical exams and treatments and tests just LEADING up to IVF and not telling many people what we were going through. So, why not wait a little longer to tell? My RE actually recommended we wait to tell until after 10-12 weeks. (We ended up telling our exciting news around 11 weeks.) No one ever told me I’d experience patience. Yes, I wanted to burst and blurt it out. But I didn’t feel all that traditional. Parents who had a much easier time in conceiving may not feel that the world could ever harm their chances or their baby. Whereas people like us felt…cautious. Life after IVF should be joyous and believe me, it is. But there is always a sense of, “what if..” Whereas parents who have yet to go through a roller coaster of issues because pregnancy was seemingly easy might have a much stranger time digesting the, “what ifs.” Another thing I had not expected after IVF is the feeling of attachment to my leftover medications. I still have 3 boxes of medicine in my refrigerator. It is out of date, but I just cannot make myself throw it away. It is emotional in a sense for me. I remember every step of my protocol and the first shot of Lupron I ever took. I can’t forget. I have an appreciation for it. I can’t believe it started with a simple shot in the abdomen and became a real, live person inside me. I remember the cold sensation of the alcohol swabs to the cramps I had after my transfer date. I remember the fear I had in taking my first shot to the relief I felt in taking my last shot. I remember it all. So when I look at the extra meds I have a feeling of gratitude and peace. Funny. People say that life is all about the baby now. It is. But it’s also about what got him to this place in my belly. I know I am one of the lucky ones. I am SO lucky. I will never forget it. I am who I am and he will be who he will be because of IVF. Because of what transpired before IVF, during IVF, and after IVF. So, life after IVF for me is not just about diapers and sleepless nights and all that comes with a newborn baby. It’s about remembrance. I will never forget the incredible experience I had conceiving through IVF.

18 Weeks

Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks! It has been a while since I have updated this blog so I just wanted to tell what has gone on the past 2 months! First and foremost... we are pregnant with a healthy baby BOY! His name will be Mercer Dayne and he will be here 21 weeks from today or sooner! I can't believe I will soon be a mom of 2 boys in May! This pregnancy has FLOWN by and hasn't come without complications. Ryder's pregnancy was oh so easy and I really thought since this pregnancy was so different that it would be a girl.. but we are incredibly blessed with another boy! So far this pregnancy I have been more nauseous and have constant migraines and headaches, I have already landed an ER visit for several hours at 11 weeks because of severe bleeding which was from a subchorianic hematoma and partial placenta previa (both of which have corrected itself), and my newest adventure having a uterine fibroid! All in all I would take anything and even more to have a healthy baby in the end! We are so blessed and so excited that IVF took the first time! I hope you enjoy the 17 week scan!

Ultrasound #4

Today I am 9 weeks 5 days and my precious baby is measuring right at 10 weeks! We had our last ultrasound and visit with Dr. Ke today... it was exciting, but sad at the same time... Bittersweet! We saw the baby moving around and the arms, legs, and even an ear! It is incredible! The heart rate was 173! Strong and healthy! I am still taking my progesterone and estrogen supplements til week 11. My appointment with Dr. Ke went really well. He said that in their meetings the doctors and embryologists have been studying my case. An unusual one! Dr. Ke does not believe that my PCOS is what is causing my infertility, but rather that I have a egg quality/quantity problem. He asked Robbie and I today if we were wanting another one after this baby or if our family was complete. We said complete, but asked why he was asking! He said that if we were not done he would suggest immediately after this baby was born to start the IVF process again. He said with my age I didn't respond well to IVF at all and I definitely did not respond like a typical PCOS patient, but he was thankful and pleased that it ended up being successful. He said we made a great decision to forego with IVF this time right when we did. He said if we would have waited another 3-4 years and if I would have come to him around the age of 28 that IVF would more than likely not have even worked to get me pregnant. We are so thankful and God has blessed us immensely! Please continue to keep Robbie, Ryder, and myself in your prayers as well as this little bean growing inside my belly!

9 Weeks!

I am 9 weeks pregnant today! The past nine weeks have been incredible and such a blessing from God. Robbie and I could not be happier! We are hoping to tell people around week 10! I had my first appointment with my regular OB today! It went great. I had an ultrasound first and the baby was measuring right at 9 weeks. I heard the heartbeat and it was 176. Everything is going great so far! I pray it continues to go so smoothly! I have loved being pregnant this time just as much as when I was pregnant with Ryder. No morning sickness, just the usual fatigue! It has been great! My due date is June 8, 2011, but I will deliver a week early at 39 weeks due to a scheduled C-section. I could end up having this baby early just like Ryder. I had him at 36 weeks due to preeclampsia (high blood pressure) and my risk of getting that again is even higher since I have had it before during a previous pregnancy. But if all goes well, we will have this baby on or before June 1! YAY! Thank you to each and everyone one of you for your continued prayers. They are very much appreciated. The picture above is from my appointment today. Sorry it is sideways!

8 Weeks!

I am 8 weeks pregnant today and had my second ultrasound and appointment with Dr. Ke. It went really well! The baby is measuring right on track at 8 weeks and we saw the heartbeat which was 168. We also saw the cord, yolk sac, and the brain. I got to stop the shots today too! I still continue the suppositories and patches though. I have felt great! Not sick, just tired! I love being pregnant! I go to my regular OB for an ultrasound and visit next Wednesday Nov. 3 and I go to Dr. Ke for one last visit and ultrasound on Monday Nov. 8. We are so excited and getting really anxious to tell people! We are trying to wait til week 10 to 12...

1st Ultrasound and Doctor Visit

My first ultrasound and doctor visit with Dr. Ke went great! Robbie and I saw our precious baby (Yes... just one!) who was measuring great! (6 weeks 3 days... but I was really 6 weeks 5 days yesterday). We saw the heartbeat and it was 130. The pictures are blurry because the baby is sitting far back so we couldn't get a really good view, but we did see the yolk sac, fetal pole, and precious little beating heartbeat! I can't believe I will be 7 weeks tomorrow! We are still not telling people. Trying to wait til Thanksgiving! I go back next Wednesday, Oct 27 for another ultrasound and visit! I can't wait to see how much my little baby bean has grown! I have not gotten sick or anything! I feel perfect!~ I don't feel pregnant at all, which scares me a little! But I am very thankful. The only thing is I have been more tired, but I really don't think I am near as tired as I was with Ryder. The alcohol swab smell for my shot every night makes me a little queasy, but only lasts for a minute or so! I am so excited and feel so incredibly blessed! We cannot wait to share our exciting news with everyone! I will see Dr. Ke 2 more times or so and then around 12 weeks I should be released to my regular OB, Dr. Cole! Tonight I start my shots every other night, but I am still on my routine of estrogen patches and suppositories everyday! I can't believe tonight will be the first night in weeks I haven't had a shot! Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Beta #3

After I got my results Friday with my HCG only raising 66% I was still apprehensive, so I called back and requested I go in for another bloodwork before I went for my ultrasound in 2 weeks. So I went today and it is raising 90% now! My HCG was 649! God is SO good! ALL the time! I feel much better and I am so excited!!! I go on October 18th to see Dr. Ke and get my first ultrasound! This is really starting to feel real! I haven't been sick or anything. Just a little more tired than usual, but that is exactly how I was with Ryder. Please continue to keep us in your prayers!