1st Beta!!!

It is 109.22, so looks like I am PREGNANT! I can't believe it... it has been so long since we have received such great news! Robbie is THRILLED! He cannot quit talking about it! I am still a little apprehensive, mainly because we have been trying so long and to have it fail month after month it just seems too good to be true! But I am very excited! God has blessed our family so much and I cannot thank Him enough! It is amazing how perfect God's plan and Will is and everything has unfolded perfectly thus far. It is so hard to imagine that I have a precious baby growing inside me again! I feel incredibly blessed and I cannot wait to see the rest of our journey unfold. God is GOOD ALL the time! Continue to keep us in your prayers as we await our next beta test Friday. The nurse is looking for numbers that have increased by 60% which would at least be 230. I started progesterone suppositories today. I do them 2x a day along with my estrogen patches and progesterone shots.

The past two weeks have definitely taken a toll on me emotionally. These 2 weeks have been the hardest throughout this entire process. But today I got the BEST news! I am still on pins and needles hoping and praying for this little person to grow and develop properly. I can't wait til Friday!

Pictures and Update

Beautiful roses Ryder and my mom got me!
The front of the card with the picture of our babies they transferred!

The inside of the card

Our babies!!! Taken September 18, 2010. Our name! (Sills) Day 3 Transfer with assisted hatching. 8 cell grade 2 and 8 cell grade 3.

The dish they grew in before I took over!

Well, my levels were great yesterday. Estrogen was 1429 (They like to see over 250) and my progesterone was 55 (They like to see over 25). So I am to continue to the same dose of the estrogen patches and progesterone shots (which are making my booty very sore by the way... but TOTALLY worth it!). Lucy, the embryologist, called me around 6pm last night with the outcome of our other 3 embryos they were watching. 2 did not make it into the weekend. The other one did make it to a blastocyst stage, but the number of cells were only for the placenta to grow and not the cells for the actual baby to grow, so they were not able to freeze any. God is in complete control. Lord Willing the precious babies they transferred will have survived! They are supposed to be implanting today... we will see on Sept. 29!!! 8 more days!

Transfer

Saturday morning I went in for the transfer. I got there at 8:30 and the procedure actually took place around 9:45. It took about 15 minutes and we were home by 11:15ish. When we got there I had to sign some papers and then Dr. Ke took us back to the IVF transfer room (which was the same room as the retrieval). We got a picture of our "embabies" and got to view them under the microscope. That was the most incredible experience! He transferred 2 - 8celled embryos. Grade 2 (above average) and grade 3 (average). We also got to keep the dish they had been growing in before I took over! After the procedure I laid flat on my back for 30 minutes and then I was able to go home. I have just been at home the past few days laying down on bedrest and taking it easy. I am getting pretty restless and bored though, but Lord Willing it will be all worth it! I went this morning for bloodwork to test my estrogen and progesterone to see if they need to make adjustments to my patches or shot dose. I will hear from them this afternoon. Also, as of Friday they were still watching 3 of our other embryos to see if they make it to the blastocyte stage so they can be frozen. We will find out today or tomorrow about those precious babies! I am just so excited! The next 9 days are going to go by soooo slow until the pregnancy test! Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Thanks so much!

Transfer

Transfer is set for tomorrow morningat 9:30, but I have to be there an hour early. I have 2 - 4cell embryos that are grade 2 (above average) and 2 - 4cell embryos that are grade 3 (average). Please be praying! We were really hoping for a 5 day transfer because when they reach the blastocyte stage the success rates are greater, but God is in control!

Progesterone Shots

I have been working myself up about these for a while now! Especially today I have been really anxious. But they were not that bad at all! I think my husband was pretty nervous, but it was not bad! He massaged the spot and I put heat on it for a few minutes. I guess I will see tomorrow if I am sore! Thanks everyone for your continued prayers! Can't wait to share more news tomorrow about our embryos!

Egg Update

Lucy, the embryologist, called to tell me about my precious eggs! Out of the 12 that were retrieved only 8 were actually mature. The egg has to be mature in order to fertilize. Out of the 8 that were mature, 7 fertilized! She said she would call me tomorrow to update me on the eggs to tell me which ones made it to the pre-embryo stage (meaning starting to divide in cell number). I am praying I have 1 to 2 that make it to the blastocyte stage (8 cells) and I can do a 5-day transfer. I am so glad God is in control of this entire situation and not me! Lucy did say that they did to ICSI to fertilize my eggs. ICSI is where they actually inject my egg with the sperm instead of just allowing them to fertilize on its own. Please continue to pray!!!!

Egg Retrieval!

I went in this morning at 8:30 to East Memphis Surgery Center for my egg retrieval. When I arrived I signed a lot of paper work and paid our last payment. They called me back and asked me a lot of preliminary questions, had me change into the hospital gown, and got me started on my IV. Dr. Ke came and talked to me about the procedure (I was so glad my doctor was the one to retrieve the eggs!), the anesthesiologist came and talked to me, and then I was transferred to the IVF procedure room. They had me lay down on the table which my thighs in stirrups. I was very comfortable. It was cold, but they gave me the awesome warm blankets! After that I don't remember once they started my "knock out" medicine through my IV! The procedure started around 9:40 and I woke up in recovery around 10:35. I stayed there for 30 minutes never really fully waking up! Dr. Ke came and talked to me and he was able to retrieve 12 eggs! 11 from my right and 1 from my left. He was pleased and they will call me tomorrow to tell me how many fertilized. They will also let me know tomorrow if they did ICSI depending on what Robbie's sample looked like. ICSI is where they actually inject the egg with the sperm forcing them to fertilize. I also got to drink a Dr. Pepper while in recovery! My favorite! They had me get dressed and wheeled me out to the car where Robbie had my discharge instructions of all the medicine I have to take for the next 2 weeks. My wonderful mom drove me home and has been watching Ryder all day until Robbie gets off work! I am so thankful! I ate some lunch and then took a 3 hour nap! It was fabulous! I have not taken anything for pain, but I am pretty uncomfortable. My right side especially since that side had a lot more poking! During the retrieval they stick a needle through your cervix, through your ovary, and finally through each individual follicle to retrieve the egg. They use an ultrasound to guide their way. I have had a c-section before and that is the closest feeling I can use to describle what I am feeling. Very uncomfortable. I never took pain meds with my c-section and I have not with this egg retrieval, but it is uncomfortable to laugh. They told me everything down there will be contracting (just like the uterus after a birth) and since my ovaries are enlarged and tender from the stim meds and since they were poked all over it feels like I have been cut, which is hurting from everything contracting. Hopefully I will be back to my normal self tomorrow! Can't wait to find out all about my babies tomorrow! I have gotten a lot of e-mails, texts, and calls the past 24 hours and they are greatly appreciated. I can feel God's hand in this whole journey and I know it is because of the power of prayer from everyone. We would still appreciate your prayers because the next few days and week we are still continuing our journey. I ask you to pray for my sweet babies and Lord Willing we will be able to make it to a 5 day transfer with one or two embryos! I will keep you all updated. I will leave you all with a verse from Psalms, "The Lord has done great things for us and our hearts are filled with JOY!" This has been one of my favorite verses throughout this entire experience! I can't wait to Lord Willing share some really great news with you all over the next few days and weeks! Thank you so much again for your thoughts and prayers!

In 13 hours

In 13 hours I will be at the hospital waiting for my egg retrieval. I am so excited and feel so much peace about everything! But I am very nervous! Please keep us in your prayers tomorrow as well as the upcoming weeks. Thank you so much.

Ultrasound #4

I am done with Gonal-F and Lupron! My eggs are mature and my right ovary especially is looking great! The follicles are measuring between 17 and 20mm. My lining is at 9.7. My E2 level was 1513. I take the Ovidrel shot tonight at 10:30 for my egg retrieval which is scheduled for Wednesday!!! Yay! I am so excited and cannot believe how fast this has gone so far! I cannot give God enough praise for allowing this IVF cycle to be going as good as can be this far! I have to be at the surgery center Wednesday morning at 8:30 with my husband. Today I start estrogen patches and I will continue this until I am around 10 weeks pregnant. I will wear 2 patches at one time and change them out every 72 hours. I have to do the patches because my E2 level is lower than 2000. Please continue to pray for us! Especially over the next several weeks. I will have either a 3 or 5 day embryo transfer. I am hoping I can make it to 5 days so my embryos will be at the blastocyte stage. So embryo transfer will be either Saturday or Monday! I am so excited that Wednesday is the day my doctor gets to do the egg retrieval! His clinic dates are Wednesday and Thursday's and I am so thankful I get to have him do it! Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers! I will keep you updated!

Ultrasound #3

I went in this morning for my ultrasound. My lining was at 10. I have 3 to 4 follicles on the left ovary and 10 to 12 on the right ovary that will more than likely be retrieved. So about 15 total. 20 at the most. They are pretty good size. Measuring between 13 and 19mm. Most are 16 or 17mm, so the nurse said I have an 80% chance of more than likely having my egg retrieval Wednesday. My E2 level jumped way up to 1008! I am a little discouraged that my follicle numbers dropped from 40 to 15ish.. but I have to remember that it only takes 1! I am continuing my Lupron at 5units and my Gonal-F at 225units tonight and I go back tomorrow at 8am for bloodwork and ultrasound! Lord Willing tonight will be my last night of stim drugs ever! Please continue to pray for us!

Constantly Working

Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.
Romans 8:34

Sometimes I feel like falling apart. Nothing is better than falling into the arms of God. I have learned through infertility that God's arms are strong enough to hold me and they will catch me everything single time. When my strength is gone, His strength becomes perfect in my weakness. I know God can do everything, but sometimes I am so afraid He won't. Whenever I need proof that God is working in my life, all I need to do is simply turn my hand palm up and look at the inside of my wrist.

On the insides of my wrists you can see my blood vessels as clearly as though I had no skin. Nurses love me! They never have to search long for a place to stick me! To me, these bluish tubes buried just below the surface appear stagnant. No movement. No action. To my eyes, they appear as nothing more than streaks of color on my arms. I don’t feel anything. No throbbing. No pressure. They have no sound. If I didn’t see them, I wouldn’t know they are even there.

But what is the reality? Life-giving blood is coursing through those veins! Every moment of my life from just weeks after my conception to even this very second, blood is and has been moving, flowing, providing life-giving nourishment to every cell that joins together to create me and it has never stopped! With every single beat of my heart, blood finds its way through the intricate highway of vessels and arteries and completes the job it was meant to do. I don’t feel it. I don’t have to. Just because I don’t see the blood moving or feel it surging on its journey through my body, doesn’t mean that it’s not carrying out its job to perfection! Even if I absolutely did not believe for a second that the blood was there, my heart would still pump, my cells would still receive nourishment and my body would continue to function. The mere fact that I am alive is proof that blood is flowing. Life is in the blood!

Romans 8:34 tells us that Christ, seated at the right hand of God, is interceding on our behalf. That Christ is seated at the right hand of God is significant, as being seated at the right hand of God designates a position of power. That means that right now, this instant, Christ, is busy working in power for my good. Just as I am blissfully unaware of the blood in my body flowing, working, moving through my veins, God through Christ is flowing, working and moving through the story of my life!

I may not see Him. I may not hear Him. I don’t have to! That doesn’t squash His ability! He’s been working on my life since long before my birth, and He’s working for me even now. As I am typing these words, He’s working. As tears stream down my face, He’s working. As my hopes rise and fall, He’s working. As I sleep at night or as I toss and turn, He’s working. As I find those few precious moments when I forget I have a problem, He’s working. He never stops working on my behalf. And He never will.

His Good and Perfect Will

Over the past several weeks during my quiet time I have found myself really studying and praying for God's Will. It is amazing to me what God uses through His word to touch my life and give me peace, hope, and strength. I have studied things lately that I have read before but going through this particular journey in my life right now His word has really touched me differently. I tend to focus my prayer life and quiet time on things that I am dealing with at that particular moment... so that I might gain wisdom and understanding... God has given me comfort throughout this entire process. Sometimes I cannot fathom His love and His mercy but it sure is comforting! Here are two verses that have really encouraged me lately and will continue to give me peace whatever the outcome may be of IVF.

1 Thess. 5:16-18: "Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's Will for you who belongs to Christ Jesus."

1 John 5:14-15: "And we can be confident that he will listen to us whenever we ask him for anything in line with his will. And if we know he is listening when we make our requests, we can be sure that he will give us what we ask for."

Ultrasound #2

I went this morning for my second ultrasound. My follicles are growing like they should on both ovaries! The majority are between 12 and 16mm. Some are still at 10mm, but that is completely normal. I am so excited! My lining was 12, which she said was perfect! She said that if she were to guess my egg retrieval will more than likely be Tuesday or Wednesday or next week! It is getting close!

My E2 level was at 379, so it doubled which is great, but they want it at 2000 at least by egg retrieval. If it is not there by Tuesday or Wednesday when I retrieve then I will have to start wearing estrogen patches. She said I would wear these while pregnant too.

I go back in Sunday morning around 8 to get another ultrasound and more bloodwork! I will post an update sometime that afternoon when I get back from church.

Pictures of Follicles

Some people have asked what I actually see when I go in for the ultrasounds. Here is an example.

This is a picture of an ovary with 2 follicles. Normally people only have 1 to 2 follicles on their ovaries. Only one (maybe 2) matures and is released each month. With my Femara cycles last year I was only getting one mature follicle so my ultrasounds looked mostly like the picture above. Now I have PCOS, so when I go in for a baseline ultrasound before I ovulate in a given month I will have tons of tiny dots that are about a fourth of the size of the follicle in the above picture. Each follicle has a chance to mature and release. With PCOS I produce tons of follicles (which are really eggs!) but they never mature so I never ovulate so I never get pregnant on my own. This cycle I have 20 eggs on each ovary. So 40 total.

My eggs this cycle look a little like the picture above! LOL! On each ovary. Well, really this picture is 8 to 10 follicles... so just double the picture for one of my ovaries! I LOVE going for my ultrasounds. It is so amazing to see how fast they grow in such a short period of time!

Pictures of the Shots

This is my Lupron. It comes in a vial with disposable needles.
This is the Lupron with the alcohol pad and the bucket I have to dispose of all my needles in.

Before I insert the needle into the Lupron vial you have to clean it with an alcohol pad.

For my dose right now, 5 units, I pull the syringe back to the "5", push the needle in the Lupron vial, push the air into the vial, turn the vial upside down like shown and pull back the syringe til it is at "5" again. This time it will have the fluid in the needle. Kinda confusing to describe!

This is my Gonal-F. The whole pen is about 6 inches long, but the needle is tiny. First I have to insert a new needle on the pen everyday. Then I have to find my dose number on the end (225), pull the white tip back, and it should say 225 in small red print. That actually loads the pen to my dose. I take the cap off the needle and give myself a shot!

Day 7

Today was my seventh day of taking Gonal-F which is my stimulation drug along with the Lupron (which has been a decreased dose). So in the past 7 days I have had 15 shots! 2 a night plus one night I ran out of medicine in one pen so I had to give myself the rest of my dose from another pen. I am feeling great! My mom said I am really calm. With just the Lupron by itself I was really irritated and snippy, but since I had decreased that dose and started the Gonal-F I have felt much better. I almost feel like I am out of it in la la land sometimes! Ha ha!

My next post I am going to post example pictures of some of the things I have experienced!

Ultrasound #1

I went this morning for my first ultrasound measuring my follicles on each ovary and my lining. Everything went great! This what I know from the ultrasound:

My lining is 9.3
My right ovary has around 20 follicles growing anywhere from 8 to 12mm and I have two around 14.
My left ovary had around 20 follicles. They are a little smaller.. around 8mm each.

The ultrasound tech was really happy that they are growing at a consistant pace and that several are growing. They are keeping my dose at 225 tonight and tomorrow night and I go in at 8am Friday morning for ultrasound and bloodwork!

I am SO excited! I was getting a little discouraged from my low E2 level on Monday, but it seems that the medicine is working! It was so incredible and a really neat experience seeing the follicles all over the screen. I wonder which one will fertilize to be our precious blessing baby?!

3 Shots!

So tonight I had to give myself 3 shots! I knew it was pretty close to me running out of medicine in my first pen.. But I really was thinking it would hold off until tomorrow. So! I am on my 2nd pen out of 3 which means egg retrieval is getting closer! So I did 150 units in the first pen tonight and it ran out so I did 75 units of the second pen, plus my Lupron. For a grand total of 3 shots in one day so far! At least I got it over with. It was not bad at all tonight! I am getting more used to the sting and finding out the best place to insert the needle! Please continue to lift us up in prayer! God is GOOD ALL the time!

Gonal-F and First Bloodwork

I have currently taken 3 Gonal-F shots! The first one went okay, the second one was TERRIBLE! It stung SO bad... the needle... the medicine... everything about the second shot was terrible! I was tearing up and that is so not me at all! Every shot that I have given myself over the past year has been a piece of cake! So I was beginning to worry. But yesterday night the shot went great as always! The first two nights my dose was 225 and last night it was 150. With me being PCOS they have to be cautious about me hyperstimulating which would cancel the cycle. So that is why they lowered it the second day.

Well, this morning I went in for my bloodwork at 8am to test my E2 (estradiol) level. It was 70.... Pretty low considering I have done 3 days of stim drugs so far! So the next two nights they are increasing my dose back up to 225 and I go in Wednesday morning for more bloodwork and an ultrasound. I tend to progress slowly on meds... I did this last summer on the Follistim. The nurse did not seem worried or concerned at all. So hopefully we will get better news on Wednesday! Until then, God bless you all and have a great Labor Day holiday!!!

Tomorrow!

I start my Gonal-F tomorrow! It was bittersweet tonight.. the last night of just Lupron. Tomorrow I will decrease my Lupron dose to 5 units and take it with Gonal-F. So 2 shots a night from here on out until... EGG RETRIEVAL! I am absolutely amazed at how fast this has flown by! Lord Willing in 4 weeks we will know the outcome of this IVF journey! I am praying for God's will! I definitely want a precious blessing to come from this adventure, but God's plan is certainly the BEST and He know what is great for our family. If that means this IVF cycle is unsuccessful, then I will be completely fine with that. Ryder has been such a blessing and pure JOY to our family! I have been extremely blessed to have welcomed one precious child into our home! Please continue to lift us up in your prayers! We for sure need wisdom, patience, and preserverance! God is GREAT. We serve a mighty God who knows ALL and loves us very much! We know His hand is upon our doctors and He will guide them in the direction that is the best care or us. I am so excited this is getting so near the end... well, the end of the beginning! There is so much more ahead for our family that I cannot even fathom right now, but I do know for certain that God is magnificant and has been so gracious and blessed our family in numerous ways!